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Friday Lynx: Yacht Rock, McBabel, Drone Games

 

Every week, we feature a handful of notable works of reportage or criticism, with a focus on timely writing from smaller publications. 

This week, trash culture and its (dis)contents. Enthusiastic polemics about such family favorites as yacht rock (official soundtrack to neoliberal damnation), McDonalds (greatness through McUnity), and the Cheescake Factory (where patrons "look less like humans and more like, say, small hypoallergenic dogs that have had all the life intentionally bred out of them").


"The sight of customers enveloped in the huge booths of the Cheesecake Factory, pawing through their gigantic menus and poking their forks into their enormous entrées—an Over the Top Meatloaf Sandwich, say, washed down with a Twisted Salted Caramel Pretzel shake off the "Spiked Milkshakes" menu—is always hilarious. They look less like humans and more like, say, small hypoallergenic dogs that have had all the life intentionally bred out of them."

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The Yacht Rock Counterrevolution

 General Gandhi | Jacobin | 3,536 words

"After copious research, countless sleepless nights, and myriad blows to my own bene esse, I have stood eyeball to eyeball with the beast. It was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, Aqua Velva, espadrilles. It bore the faint scowl of an iron-hearted counterrevolutionary. It tells me it was a Cassandra, a clarion, of the Jimmy and Warren Buffets who were coming. And it tells me, so I can tell you.

The ulcerating chancre known as “yacht rock” was the sign of a greater, gathering plague: that of the reactionaries and their most potent poison, the redistributive, soak-the-poor tenets of neoliberal economics...."

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We Must Build An Enormous McWorld In Times Square, A Xanadu Representing A McDonald's From Every Nation

Jeb Boniakowski | The Awl | 2,406 words

"The central attraction of the ground floor level is a huge mega-menu that lists every item from every McDonald's in the world, because this McDonald's serves ALL of them. There would probably have to be touch screen gadgets to help you navigate the menu. There would have to be whole screens just dedicated to the soda possibilities. A concierge would offer suggestions. Celebrities on the iPad menus would have their own "meals" combining favorites from home ("Manu Ginóbili says 'Try the medialunas!'") with different stuff for a unique combination ONLY available at McWorld. "

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