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Live Tweeting A Scintillating Record Store Day

In honor of this Saturday's Record Store Day, we went where many men had gone before—Jack White's Third Man Records in Nashville, TN—to try our luck at acquiring a novel item: White's latest single in the form of a liquid-filled record. What follows are our increasingly disturbing tweets from the event:

We're at @thirdmanrecords in Nashville for #recordstoreday. Port-o-potties smell like authenticity.

For the record, authenticity smells a lot like urine.

Luckily, we have a @NewYorker to keep us busy: "Less inspired was a campaign to build an athletic stadium in honor of Nietzsche..."

"...More Wilhelmine bombast than Dionysian frenzy...Blessedly, the scheme went unrealized..."

And there you have it, the answer to "How long must you stand in a cold alley for a liquid-filled record before you start quoting Nietzsche"

Thank goodness for the Panera Egg White Sun Dried Tomato Asiago Nutri-Melt (TM)

My quadriceps feel like nougat.

It is cold. Maybe if I had a jeanjacket w Stones logo, I would be better protected against the elements, like this guy

Reportage on length of line: "The guy who looks like Albert Einstein is not even in the door yet."

Dunkin Donuts box denoting end of line no longer in active commission.

Great line-standing banter: "Is that a dry heat?"

The dudes living at the Mission across the street are just like WTF.

Perhaps if I had a tie-dye beard I'd be more comfortable


Newly acquired cardamom rose hot chocolate demonstrating clear benefits of 21st century hippies over 20th century hippies

@thirdmanrecords Rolling Record Store like "Hey sup we're on wheels." 

Third Man consigliere Ben Blackwell like "Dudes, our records have liquid in em." 

Man 1: "Anyone want to buy this tent?" Man 2: "Does it have liquid in it?"

We are over the 3 hour mark, which as everyone knows is officially when all thoughts acquire a British accent.

Jack White's latest single, "Sixteen Saltines," made the album just barely over early favorite "47 Triscuits."

Fans eagerly awaiting unicycle-delivered arrival of "Four and a Half Animal Crackers."

Sense of humor currently in inverse relationship with bladder size.

That guy is wearing velcro shoes

Passing time by drafting stock Esquire profile titles-current fav: "How many licks does it take to get to the center of Michael Fassbender?"

Also introducing my new favorite game: "How bored do you have to be to start reading the latest Junot Diaz short story?"

People at Rolling Record Store have given up on records and are just trying to order a Cuban sandwich

First United Methodist Church bus drives by twice, demonstrating genuine confusion.

Socks and sandals

Vanity Fair wins category of "Least Incisive #recordstoreday Music Business Commentary

Hour Four in line at @thirdmanrecords.

@VanityFair uses day to mourn passage of physical music. People around country line up for hours to acquire physical music. 

The hot chocolate is getting to us. We are actually in hour five. Supposedly in good shape to score liquid vinyl, but near cutoff point.

Currently slating chances of crying in announcement of sellout at 30%.

At this point, the records could be filled with SARS and I would want them.

Aziz Ansari just walked in and nobody cared.

Five hours down. Currently evaluating my chances of vomiting on a Mercury Sable.

Additionally, I have begun bleeding randomly from various parts of my body

Aziz Ansari departs without commotion

Meanwhile, I am getting close

This strategy is remarkable. I will literally purchase to the very limits of human capitalist consumption.

Will public urination hamper my chances for limited-run vinyl?

In the doorway. Man returns a liquid record. Staffer: "This guy has a leaker."

After 6 hrs in the rain, the record sold out with the person in front of me. So concludes the worst day of my life.