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Taking Maurizio Cattelan's 'Family' Hostage

In which we deface the prankster's new gallery, Family Business.

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Maurizio Cattelan, whose "stupefyingly sophomoric" 128-piece hit-parade "All" recently closed at the Guggenheim, pulled an art-world Brett Favre and recanted his promise to retire upon the conclusion of the show on January 22. His decision to not-retire from lowercase-A art accompanied the announcement of a new gallery venture earlier this month. Making a mockery of the usual forced-retirement trope -- "spending more time with my family" -- Cattelan named his new venture "FAMILY BUSINESS."

Yesterday, still dizzy from Damien's dots next door, we ripped the "FAMILY" out of the "BUSINESS" -- literally removing the piece of duct tape that had been there since the gallery opening. Of course, we considered that we were not the first to think of this diabolical gesture, but a forensic analysis of the pictures of the gallery's doors posted at NY Mag's Vulture blog on the 19th as well as ArtNet suggests otherwise (note the crooked letter "L" and the small line beneath it).

Maurizio, since this new gallery is allegedly a non-profit affair: we have no material demands. In the same way that your artistic crank-project proceeds in fuzzy thoughtspirals, our kidnapping is the ransom. Like any good revolutionaries, however, we have embarked on a likely fruitless re-education campaign. See photographic evidence below.

If you want to talk, you know where to find us.

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Medium & milieu. Attendees of the Guggenheim show's afterparty at the Boom Boom Room received gift bags labeled "Toilet Paper."

A moment of respite in familiarly shallow intellectual waters.